Too much booze.

Surprise, surprise. Saturday night landed in carnage, yet again. Sales at the shop were not good, probably due to Easter holidays, snow, people being skint etc. Therefore I felt the need to drink as much as physically possible. Yes, I was back on the ol’ Vodka and Red Bull, the chav’s champagne. Amy (my friend since I’ve known since I was 4) came round to the flat, looking rather glam in her sexah black Macintosh and we started straight away on the beverages. BAD idea. I hadn’t had much to eat that day either so this was not a good start.

‘Anything you can do I can do better’ was on telly, another pants attempt at Saturday night reality TV, this time, a shot at casting for the role of Nancy in ‘Oliver!’. By the time it was finished I was already slurring my sentences and joining in the sing-a-longs*

*I was, in fact, part of the school choir, circa 1987 and Oliver was my speciality. We rehearsed for months to eventually perform at the dizzying heights of the local Inverurie old folks home. Ace.

That was enough of crap telly for the night. I plugged in the laptop to our ridiculously huge sub-woofer and cranked up the volume to 11. Justin Timberlake, Kylie, Sugababes, Justin Timberlake, Justin Timberlake….Combichrist…COMBICHRIST!? Ok, if you haven’t heard of Combichrist then neither did I until my good friend Mel introduced them to me. Please look here for the video. It’s AWESOME.  However, I’m sure we didn’t look quite as twattish as this dude. So, needless to say we danced the danced until our arms could take no more.

Then, the gayness which is Elton John was released. I think we called our friend Alison (sorry Alison) and started singing down the phone. This is when Lou + booze gets silly with her mobile phone.

There seems to be some strange connection with drinking Red Bull and calling/texting 90% of the numbers in my address book.

ANYWAY, by this time it must have been at least 12am? I’m not exactly sure.  We headed out to the local trendy club, Snafu.

The walk from the flat to the club takes about 20 mins or so, but of course we were on the beer scooter so we literally teleported. Next thing I know is that I’m speaking to my friend Isla who works at the door and then we go downstairs to the club. Amy buys a cocktail pitcher. I call people on my mobile. No-one answers. Quel surprise. It is almost 2am. I fall on my arse. I call Scott to take me home. We eat Mexican food. We speak to random guy. We bump into overtly friendly gay couple. We go home. The blurry hands on the clock tell me it’s 5.30am.

Next morning, as usual, I’m scared to check my mobile phone. Random messages, random random random. I think it was a good night?

Now, I may sound like an alcoholic but I’m normally very good. Some of the time I even manage to go to bed sober. Not this time. May this blog post be a constant reminder of how messy it can get.

Today was a good day. I had my day off, got up, spring-cleaned, nipped down to the shop to package up some online orders, went shopping for food in the HEALTH FOOD shop (this is my detox week) then proceeded to half-walk-slip home in the bizarre snow.

A girl was walking in front of me not far from my flat and she slipped and fell from the sludgy snow. She fell HARD and it looked bad. I immediately skidded to her rescue and asked if she was ok and was really very concerned. She was a bit hurt but she managed to pick herself up. I stayed with her a bit and we made friendly small talk. What I couldn’t believe was that a few other passers-by just stared and continued on their journey. How rude. Gone are the days of chivalry, that’s what I say. And when I was in Somerfield today picking up some carrots I was overloaded with stuff. Stuff as in umberlla, large bag with laptop, bag of other stuff. I was trying to pick up my 3 extra carrier bags when an old man pushed me to the side. Since when was that allowed? He should know better. I’m sure in the ‘olden days of yore’ he would have opened a door for a laydee? Evidently I’m not a laydee.

The rest of the day was bliss. I made myself a ridiculously healthy late lunch which consisted of avacados and weirdy bread (or rye bread) and drank some weirdy tea. I sat for the next 3 hours revisiting my favourite book, Kafka on the Shore avec cats on lap.

Tomorrow I expect the sales to be pish again due to the lovely Aberdeen-like weather.

On Wednesday evening I am excited as I am meeting an ooooold school friend for drinks in 99 on Back Wynd whom I haven’t seen in almost a decade. There may be cocktails involved… guard your phones!!