The most random day in the universe…ever…volume 1

This is the weirdest day I have ever known. FACT. I can’t go into much detail as people may read this and know it was them.

10am: Open shop, do some paperwork, calls, talk advertising rates to a certain magazine

12.30pm: BIG DRUNK GUY comes in. He tells me he has just been thrown out of Primark by the security guards, so, joy, he comes into my shop when I’m here alone. Demands a carrier bag to stuff all his crap in, stays for 10 minutes and proceeds to tell his dad is a judge. My hands are edging toward the panic button. He leaves, thank goodness.

3.00pm: Strange girl enters. I cannot describe HOW strange this girl is. Uber-strange. Alien-strange. Talks to me for an hour about random things like oranges and tomatoes and how she made them into George Bush. I think, am I being tested here? Is this a mystery shopper testing me for my business award nomination?

3.30pm: A drag queen requires an outfit for her act tomorrow night. Fair enough. So I help her pick out a rather sweet little dress.

4.15pm: The strange girl leaves.

4.17pm: A lady calls me to ask what the opening hours are. She also asks me if I sell sheep. No lie. It works out she wants a sheep BROOCH.

This has all felt like a dream. A very strange one. Like those REALLY weird ones.

Can this day get any weirder? Discuss.

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